
The Onion Movie (2008)
The Onion Movie (2008), directed by Mike Maguire, starring Len Cariou and Ken Takemoto.
score
America's finest news source.
Synopsis
Venerable newscaster Norm Archer reports the latest news in politics, health, culture and entertainment - such as an automotive recall of decapitation-inducing "Neckbelts" and a study finding that "depression hits losers hardest". This compilation of bogus news stories, celebrity profiles, movie trailers and skits come courtesy of the ace satirists at The Onion.
- Maryse AlbertiCinematography
- Mike MaguireDirector
- Tom KuntzDirector
- Frederick WardellEditing
About the film
The Onion Movie (released in some countries as News Movie) is a 2008 satirical American comedy film written by The Onion writers Robert D. Siegel and Todd Hanson. It was filmed in 2003 and released on June 3, 2008, direct-to-video. It is Rodney Dangerfield's final film role, prior to his death in October 2004.
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The Onion Movie (released in some countries as News Movie) is a 2008 satirical American comedy film written by The Onion writers Robert D. Siegel and Todd Hanson. It was filmed in 2003 and released on June 3, 2008, direct-to-video. It is Rodney Dangerfield's final film role, prior to his death in October 2004.
Premise
The plot revolves around a fictitious Onion television news anchorman, Norm Archer (Len Cariou). He is forced to face a corporate takeover by Onion's perennial multinational, Global Tetrahedron. The media conglomerate is interrupting Archer's newscasts with product placement commercials for 'Cock Puncher', the company's action movie franchise, which is a 'whap right in the nutsack' for the veteran newsman. Onion news is described as "fair and balanced". The plot is a springboard for various comedy sketches featuring The Onion's satire. Vignettes include music videos parodies of Britney Spears ['Take Me From Behind' 'isn't sexual at all. It's about love sneaking up on you...like...you know... from the behind.' 'Down on my Knees' 'is about how like, when you have a big crush on a boy, sometimes you get down on your knees and, like, beg for their love.' 'Lollipop Love' 'is the kind of love that is just really sweet and you just kind of want to lick it, you know, and suck it. Like a lollipop.' 'Shoot your Love All Over Me' 'That's about how, like, when you're in love you just wanna be covered in it.'] and Steven Seagal parodying the action hero genre he normally portrays as the world famous 'Cock Puncher'. The plot is interrupted by film reviewers and commentators weighing in on its progress, with one threatening an immediate walkout of all African American audience members unless a positive portrayal of an African American is inserted into the plot.
Cast
Production
In 2003, New Regency Productions and Fox Searchlight Pictures were on board to produce and release a movie written by The Onion staff. Tentatively titled The Untitled Onion Movie, it was to be directed by music video director Tom Kuntz and Mike Maguire and written by then Onion editor Robert Siegel and writer Todd Hanson with the rest of the Onion staff. After delays and previews to test audiences, the film was suspended and eventually dropped by Fox. New Regency Productions continued the project.
On March 15, 2007, Scott Aukerman said that the Onion movie was at a "dead standstill". Additionally, Onion, Inc. President at the time, Sean Mills, indicated The Onion was no longer associated with the film project.
In November 2007, then-President Sean Mills told Wikinews that the film was a dead project. Although Fox Searchlight had an option to release it on DVD, there was no immediate announcement to do so. Eventually, the trailer appeared on the DVD for The Darjeeling Limited. The trailer also appeared on The Comebacks, Hitman, Charlie Bartlett, and Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem DVDs.
20th Century Fox Home Entertainment released The Onion Movie DVD on June 3, 2008. The UK release's packaging styles the film News Movie, a.k.a. The Onion Movie.
Reception
The Onion's own non-satirical entertainment website The A.V. Club did not review the film. The site's film critic Nathan Rabin explicitly declined to review the film for his "Dispatches from Direct to DVD Purgatory" feature on poor-quality direct-to-DVD films because he wished to avoid a conflict of interest.
References
External links
The Onion Movie at IMDb
The Onion Movie at Rotten Tomatoes
Text from The Onion Movie on Wikipedia, licensed CC BY-SA 4.0. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Onion_Movie
Trivia
- It premiered on May 31, 2008, a Saturday.
- It runs 1h30 — a typical feature length.
- This film's quiz has 13 questions — enough to play more than once without repeats.
Production
- StudiosThe Onion
- CountriesUnited States
- LanguagesRussian, English
- StatusReleased
Videos
Photos
Cast
-
Len Cariou
Norm Archer -
Ken Takemoto
Sensei -
Steven Seagal
Cock Puncher -
Larissa Laskin
Dana Dobbs -
Don McManus
Dennis McCormick -
Michael Bolton
Michael Bolton -
Ahmed Ahmed
Ahmed -
Brendan Fletcher
White Black Guy Tim -
Daniel Dae Kim
Ivy Leaguer -
Meredith Baxter
Cooking Show Chef -
Jed Rees
Wizard Proteus -
Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield - Ahmed B. Badran Peruvian
-
Scott Klace
Kip Kendall - Barbara Pilavin Alzheimers Old Lady
-
Sandy Kenyon
Alzheimers Guy in Crowd - Orlando Seale Producer
-
Brian Powell
Typical Neighbor Husband -
Erik Stolhanske
Producer -
Sarah McElligott
Melissa Cherry
Quiz about this movie
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Tags
Crew
- Maryse Alberti Cinematography
- Mike Maguire Director
- Tom Kuntz Director
- Frederick Wardell Editing
- David Miner Producer
- David Zucker Producer
- Gil Netter Producer
- Michael Rotenberg Producer
- Asche & Spencer Original music
- Thad Spencer Original music
- Robert D. Siegel Writer
- Todd Hanson Writer
Questions about this film
What is The Onion Movie about?
The Onion Movie: Venerable newscaster Norm Archer reports the latest news in politics, health, culture and entertainment - such as an automotive recall of decapitation-inducing "Neckbelts" and a study finding that "depression hits losers hardest". This compilation of bogus news stories, celebrity profiles, movie trailers and skits com…
Who directed The Onion Movie?
The Onion Movie was directed by Mike Maguire and Tom Kuntz in 2008.
Who stars in The Onion Movie?
The cast of The Onion Movie includes Len Cariou, Ken Takemoto, Steven Seagal, Larissa Laskin and Don McManus.
How long is The Onion Movie?
The Onion Movie runs for 90 minutes, or 1h30.
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Page updated on 09/10/2026.
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